{"product_id":"my-body-is-a-machine-that-turns-dicks-into-sucked-dicks-t-shirt-dp-b0cb764rdv","title":"My Body Is A Machine That Turns Dicks Into Sucked Dicks T-Shirt","description":"\u003ch1\u003e🔥 Discover Your Next Favorite Outfit\u003c\/h1\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're heading out or staying cozy at home, our collection of \u003cstrong\u003eUnisex T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, and Hoodies\u003c\/strong\u003e has got you covered with premium comfort, long-lasting quality, and timeless style.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch2\u003e✨ Why You'll Love It\u003c\/h2\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e👕 Unisex T-Shirt\u003c\/h3\u003e\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eMade with 100% U.S. cotton (heather \u0026amp; safety colors may contain polyester)\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, breathable, durable — perfect for daily wear\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with ribbed collar \u0026amp; taped shoulders for added comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label for zero irritation\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e🧥 Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt\u003c\/h3\u003e\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e50\/50 cotton\/polyester blend (select heather colors: 60\/40 poly\/cotton)\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eSoft fleece interior for all-day coziness\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with ribbed cuffs and hem for structure\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eEnhanced fabric with anti-pilling technology\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e🧢 Unisex Hoodie\u003c\/h3\u003e\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e50\/50 cotton\/polyester blend (select heather colors: 60\/40 poly\/cotton)\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood with matching drawcord + large pouch pocket\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eWarm, comfortable, and made for layering\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eHeavy Blend® fleece for reduced pilling \u0026amp; smoother print quality\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\n\u003ch2\u003e🎨 Print \u0026amp; Production Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with advanced DTG or DTF (based on location)\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003ePrint area may vary by size; slight color differences may occur\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eAll items made-to-order in the U.S.A.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e📏 Size Chart\u003c\/h3\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e👕 Unisex T-Shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"tab-tshirt\" class=\"size-tab\" style=\"display: block;\"\u003e\r\n\u003ctable class=\"size-table\"\u003e\r\n\u003cthead\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\r\n\u003cth\u003eLength (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\r\n\u003cth\u003eBust (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\r\n\u003ctbody\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e28 in (71.1 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e36 in (91.4 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e29 in (73.7 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e40 in (101.6 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e30 in (76.2 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e44 in (111.8 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e31 in (78.7 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e48 in (121.9 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e32 in (81.3 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e52 in (132.1 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e33 in (83.8 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e56 in (142.2 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e34 in (86.4 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e60 in (152.4 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e35 in (88.9 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e64 in (162.6 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\r\n\u003c\/table\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e🧥 Unisex Sweatshirt \/ Hoodie\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"tab-hoodie\" class=\"size-tab\" style=\"display: block;\"\u003e\r\n\u003ctable class=\"size-table\"\u003e\r\n\u003cthead\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\r\n\u003cth\u003eLength (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\r\n\u003cth\u003eBust (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\r\n\u003ctbody\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e27 in (68.6 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e40 in (101.6 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e28 in (71.1 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e44 in (111.8 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e29 in (73.7 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e48 in (121.9 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e30 in (76.2 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e52 in (132.1 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e31 in (78.7 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e56 in (142.2 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e32 in (81.3 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e60 in (152.4 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e33 in (83.8 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e64 in (162.6 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e34 in (86.4 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003ctd\u003e68 in (172.7 cm)\u003c\/td\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\r\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\r\n\u003c\/table\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e🌈 Color Chart\u003c\/h3\u003e\r\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/proxy.shopifycdn.com\/75188b33cdaaefb33278c4cdc6e7eff9db1cc9544f343dcc06ded2c7b53f6156\/p16-oec-ttp.tiktokcdn-us.com\/tos-useast5-i-omjb5zjo8w-tx\/3524591869a045d3a09976302aeb9fff~tplv-omjb5zjo8w-resize-jpeg:800:800.jpeg\"\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\r\n\u003ch2\u003e🛒 How to Order\u003c\/h2\u003e\r\n\u003col\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eChoose your product, size, and color\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eAdd to cart and proceed to checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\r\n\u003ch2\u003e🚚 Shipping Info\u003c\/h2\u003e\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eProduction Time:\u003c\/strong\u003e 1–3 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUSA Standard:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3–7 days | \u003cstrong\u003eRush:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3–5 days\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInternational:\u003c\/strong\u003e 1–2 weeks\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\n\u003ch2\u003e📩 Special Requests\u003c\/h2\u003e\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eHave a special request? We're happy to help!\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e✅ Need a \u003cstrong\u003ecustom color\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong\u003edifferent size\u003c\/strong\u003e not listed?\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e✅ Want to create a \u003cstrong\u003ecustom design\u003c\/strong\u003e for your \u003cstrong\u003ecompany, team, event, or organization\u003c\/strong\u003e?\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e✅ Ordering in \u003cstrong\u003ebulk (50+ items)\u003c\/strong\u003e? Enjoy \u003cstrong\u003eexclusive discounts\u003c\/strong\u003e for large quantities.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\n📧 Please \u003cstrong\u003econtact us via the email on our Contact page\u003c\/strong\u003e to get started!\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\n\u003ch2\u003e⚠️ Important Notes\u003c\/h2\u003e\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eAll items are made-to-order – please double-check sizing before purchase\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eWe do not accept returns\/exchanges for incorrect sizing\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003eContact us immediately if there’s an issue with your item\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e💖 \u003cstrong\u003eThank you for choosing comfort \u0026amp; style. 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